Why do I do it?
Updated: May 7
In my first blog post I’d like to talk about something that intrigues people, including myself: Where does this fascination with discipline and spanking come from? I spend a lot of my time devising ways to embarrass people, bringing them down a peg or two, bossing them around and thrashing them about the bottom. I firmly believe that we are all the better for it. So where does the desire to do this come from, and how can it be right and OK?
First of all, let’s look at where it comes from. Yes, I was spanked occasionally when little, but only as a last resort, and spankings were brief and swift. That may be a factor, but I don’t think it’s why I’ve ended up here. I was not a particularly bossy child. In fact, I was quite bookish and well-behaved, although quite stubborn. I have been told my first word was ‘No!” when told to go to bed earlier than I wanted to. This determined refusal was delivered with a raised finger, a stern glare, and probably wasn’t very effective, as, at that time, I was wearing a Babygro, and was behind the bars of a cot. But I knew my own mind from a very early age and could stick to my guns. As a child I also remember the intense enjoyment from playing, with my brothers or friends, any game that involved role-playing and using the imagination (of course to children it’s not ‘role-playing’ it’s just playing.) My favourite books were traditional tales like Alice in Wonderland, Lord of the Rings, and The Chronicles of Narnia: all escapist fantasies with a strong moral chore, dealing with adventure and challenging journeys to frightening, but ultimately enlightening places.
I think this may explain some of my enjoyment in what I do. A discipline session enables us to go into that same space we were so comfortable exploring as children: the deep realms of the imagination. Here you can take off your mask and explore your shadow self, your mind clear of the distractions and responsibilities of adult life. I very much enjoy taking you on this journey, accompanying you and guiding you to where you need to go, then bringing you safely back home to where you started, feeling better, braver and stronger.
There is also the question of ‘female anger’ and its expression. This is not a therapy session; all I will say is I have my share of collective female ‘rage’ (just watch the news these days) that needs a healthy outlet. Spanking, caning and any other type of impact play are a wonderful way for me to express this, in a controlled space. Kink should never be played out in real anger or resentment and a dominant should always be in control of herself as well as those in her duty of care. However punishing consenting bottoms helps me to balance the world out there. I admire the men who come to visit me to take on their share of this karmic burden, who take it upon themselves to atone for the sins of the fathers (not necessarily their own) and who respect and acknowledge female power. To me they seem stronger and more balanced than ego-driven alpha males. Together we are dismantling the patriarchy piece by piece, and creating something more equal, in a way that gives us both great pleasure and fulfilment and has further repercussions. I believe that anything that balances out our ‘male’ and ‘female’ energy is healthy and beneficial to all of us wherever we stand on that spectrum. When interacting with female spankees there is a different vibe which is perhaps more complicit and sensual. Either way the end result is the same: an expansion of female power and energy.
Finally I consider it a great responsibility and gift to be able to help people realise their deepest desires and fantasies. Perhaps you are a man who cannot express sadness or strong emotions, and you need to hand over power and be punished until you crack, until you can let it all out. Or perhaps you are a playful little ‘pervert’ who just needs to do this sporadically for fun. You may be a naughty girl who needs to feel a strong, maternal figure at your side, guiding and correcting your behaviour. Or you may have been punished in childhood and need to revisit this experience for whatever reason. There are so many reasons why people need discipline. I will do my best to understand your particular reasons, and to understand you before we even start a session. It is satisfying for me to see what a good spanking or discipline session can do for you. To see the cathartic release of tension and trapped emotions, and the power that comes from accepting yourself fully. And you will be accepted fully by me. There is nothing wrong with what we do. It doesn’t even matter why we need to do it. Some of us just need to do it. It is right, and it is perfectly OK.