• icenimistress

Do I prefer spanking boys or girls?

Updated: a day ago


(image: Andrew, Miss Iceni, Ana (Ragbambi)


I am frequently asked if I prefer spanking boys or girls, as if it’s a binary choice, which it It isn’t - I prefer spanking anyone who is genuinely into it. There are elements of dominating both genders that appeal to me. Currently I session with more men than women because the majority of my clients are men, but my aim is to discipline more women. I’m an equal opportunities spanker. It would be good to balance male and female energy in my disciplinary interactions, rather than cater exclusively to masculine tastes and desires. However, at the moment, that’s what I have more experience doing. I don’t generally like to compare this to that, or set one category of people against the other, but a bugbear of mine are those pesky lists on social media comparing us women/posting silly polls about who’s the best headmistress/aunty/caner/scolder, so this one’s for you if you like to compose lists pitting women in competition with each other:

What’s best? Spanking boys or girls?

Bottom’s up! Let’s find out!…


There are some simple and obvious pros to spanking men:

As a mature female, it’s payback time, boys. I enjoy the power over men, I like getting my own back for generalised bad male behaviour, and at times there is a sexual thrill to turning the tables and dispensing justice. It’s very fulfilling to see a high-functioning alpha male drop the CEO persona and submit to me. The power exchange is very satisfying and feels karmic. I love encouraging men to express their submissive side. It gives me an easy thrill to embarrass them as I peel down their underpants and expose their dangly bits, scolding them like silly little boys. I don’t care who you are outside of my study. If he is an attractive man it is a delight to have him draped across my lap taking his punishment. It’s hot when a sexy man submits. It’s hot when any man submits, frankly. Some mens’ bottoms are very appealing; Andrew’s for example is pert, and very spankable, and above all I love his expressive nature: the boyish wriggling and gasping, and the intimate dance we perform together, built up over so much shared history. I know what’s running through his mind as I thrash him, and I usually know what’s going through most mens’ minds as I take them on this journey of embarrassment, pain and redemption. What woman wouldn’t get a kick from earning decent money putting errant males in their place? There really is something to be said for the majority of my older clients- true gentlemen who can be so polite and respectful, bringing flowers or gifts, always reliable and punctual, and well-versed in how to behave in a disciplinarian/spankee dynamic. In some ways, men are easy to please and the sexual undertones keep a discipline session flowing: a flash of stocking-top here, a pencil skirt pulled tight across hips and thighs, the turn of a high heel, and the whiff of perfume.


On the other hand….

Sad to say, but the majority of mens’ bottoms are indeed not as aesthetically pleasing as the majority of womens’ bottoms. I know it’s not practical for many men to depilate and keep a smooth behind, but that would be my personal preference. Men can be way more demanding than women in the specificity of what they are seeking: can you spank me like this, but not like that, say this, but not that, use this implement, in this particular way, mark me but only for 3 days, don’t hit me too low, don’t hit me too high, bend me over like this, wear, that, but not this, put me in this position and so on. The pre-session requests can be like a rock star’s rider. Maybe this is just because men are better at identifying and asking for what they want. And, to be fair, I do ask them.


Another obvious negative: I have to see a lot of un-groomed scrotums. (I don’t need to elaborate on that except to say- I’m not making a point of studying them closely, but they do waft into my line of vision quite frequently). Men can be leaky and unable to control their excitement; like a dripping tap. One minute they can be dribbling down your stocking, or prodding your thigh, or trying to sneakily grind into your lap (as if they think we don’t notice). So far, women haven’t done that, although I would probably find it erotic if one started bumping and grinding over my knee. A woman has never turned up to be spanked by me while wearing ugly underwear, and plenty of men have! Grey, frayed pants, baggy boxer shorts (I’m clutching my pearls now), pants with holes in them… I’m always delighted when I see he has made the effort to wear crisp white undies, or elegant, nicely-fitting underwear, but that’s the exception. And sorry to say this, but in general, intimate hygiene is often better in women than men. Again; make the effort, boys- I have to deal with the business end. Another negative is that some experienced CP nerds can make you feel judged during a session, as if they are going to hold up a score card at the end, comparing you to how mistress So-and-So used to spank them. And finally, with men, there is always the lurking danger that an irate wife or girlfriend is going to call you up, in which case, as Nanny Vee once did, in the unlikely event of one of these angry calls my plan is to reply fragrantly, ‘Look, Dear, don’t have a go at me: he came to see me because he likes to be a naughty little boy and get his bottom smacked. Perhaps you ought to talk to him about it.’


Now, as a general rule girls undeniably have cuter bottoms so that’s the first obvious pro. Girls’ skin is so smooth and soft, and their buttocks are plumper, with more bounce. I enjoy the feminine connection- it can be more sensual. I mean just think about it for a second: an older, authoritative woman slowly pulling down a girl’s knickers, sliding them over the curve of her bottom. Smoothing her manicured hand down the backs of her thighs, telling her what a naughty girl she’s been, and how she’s going to take her punishment. Delicious! Women don’t tend to spread their legs in abandon during a spanking, or writhe around across your lap as if hoping you will take pity on them and give them a happy ending once they have a hot bottom. Ok, so yeah, that’s happened once or twice, and on both occasions was very exciting, but usually… nope. You know that she is not sexually obsessing over your shoes or the feel of your stockings, or the smack of your hand. Although again- if she were, I’m not saying I would find it unpleasant. If, during her wriggling, I catch a glimpse of her private parts, well, we’re all girls together, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not as if she’s about to start strutting around proudly showing it off, shoving it in my face, touching it and adjusting it absent-mindedly while I’m scolding her, or dribbling onto my nice Persian rug.


I have found so far that women are far less demanding and detail-obsessed when arranging a discipline session, although occasionally they can be more needy and intense afterwards. As a general rule they are more submissive and obedient than men during the discipline session- although have you met Anty? (lol!) Another pro is that of course I can put myself in her shoes. Once, a long time ago, I was a young spankee seeking discipline and domination myself. I know what I was looking for and would have liked and needed.


We’ve looked at the pros of spanking women, so here are the cons: with some men, once their pants come down, or off, you get the feeling they’re wishing and willing you to cop a feel. With a woman however it’s like that old horror film ‘The Hand’ - I worry that I’m going to look down and find that while I’m not paying attention, my hand has detached itself and wandered off, with a mind of its own, and has decided to have an absent-minded fondle, while I observe, horrified, unable to stop it. I am extremely sensitive to unwanted touching when it comes to women, and would be mortified if I misunderstood or overstepped her boundaries. For the same reasons- I love humiliating men during a spanking, and am a fan of the illustrator Franco, who often depicts the boys in embarrassing positions with their legs spread and genitals exposed. I would be much less likely to do this to a girl spankee, as girls are so often sexualised. I have mentioned wafting scrotums, and glimpsed erections: as with men, I avoid studying what’s between womens’ legs- they’re here for a spanking, not a gynaecology appointment. But it’s harder not to look because they are prettier things and I am genuinely more curious about them. As I say to the boys when their pants come down, and their faces blush beetroot: ‘I’m not the slightest bit interested: I’ve seen it all before.’ Men are embarrassed but I assume actually love it if you pay their naughty bits any attention, even a passing glance, while women, I think, find it genuinely shameful to be seen. (‘down there’ - and here, I should hoist one house-coated breast and gurn like Cissie or Ada).

Finally, I feel bad charging women the same as men, until the gender pay gap is equal. It seems unfair if you have less disposable income. I don’t know if this is a negative or not.


So there you have it- do I have a clear preference? Not really, depends on the person, the situation, the intention, the cuteness of the bottom, the intensity of our connection. And, as I say, lists are silly. Let’s stop comparing things and people that are not really equivalent, shall we? Now, get those pants down and get over here across my knee….

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